Knowing What He Felt
by Difficult-notImpossible
Summary: There's no need to cry, baby. Your fine. And I'm fine. And that's all that matters okay? We're gonna get out of this and your gonna see your family again. I promise you.' Who knew that a near death experience lead to reading his mind? Post Breaking Dawn.


**A/N: Before you begin reading i just have to say that in this story, Nessie can both read minds _and_ project thoughts and feelings, just so your not confused. And if your confused about whats going on, Renesmee was kidnapped by the Volturi and Jacob came after her. They caught Jake and threatened to kill him if Nessie didn't join the coven. So, I think you can guess what her choice was.**

**I might continue if you guys like it. **

**Enjoy!!!!!**

**-Ness**

"Bring him in." Aro's voice murmured softly.

Demetri and Felix nodded and exited the chamber.

I swallowed, straightening up in my new seat, the bottom of my satin blue gown shuffling against my legs, my curls swayed as I looked to the side, where Aro was seated next to me. He rested his hand on top of where mine was placed on the arm of my 'throne' as I called it. Wanting to know what I was thinking.

_Please don't hurt him, Aro. I'm begging you. Just let him go._ I pleaded in my head, my eyes never leaving his chalky face.

I saw his lips curve upward into a small smile.

_I promised you that I would not hurt him now didn't I? _I heard his voice fill my head.

Aro had gained the accomplishment of sharpening my mind reading, and was now terribly happy that we could have private conversations in our heads, ever since I joined his coven he's been ecstatic. I can't say the same for me though. The thought of my Jacob, locked up in the same awful cell I had been in, didn't ease me. I knew he wasn't safe here. At least not with Jane or Alec around.

_But how can I be sure that is just a trick and you won't tell someone else to do it?_ I insisted.

He's smile grew and he looked down at me. _I promise you that nor I nor anyone else will hurt him. _

I nodded and looked straight again, removing my hand from under his, and secretly hoping that he was telling the truth.

I heard the thoughts of everyone in the room, not being able to stop myself. Some of them were just so interesting.

Lisa was thinking of me. Of how sorry she was that I was being put through this. Her and I have made some sort of a bond ever since we found out I would have to stay here for the rest of eternity. She thought about how she didn't want to see me suffer like she had to. She didn't want me to be put to the torture she was being put through as she saw these monsters kill innocent people every day. She was like my family. She preferred animal blood, she didn't want to be a monster. During the evenings, when Heidi lured poor tourists in to their deaths, Lisa and I ---with Aro's permission of course--- ran off to the woods outside of Volterra and fed on animals. And each time I was out there, I couldn't help but shed a few tears. Of course I wanted to just take off there and run back to my family, taking Lisa with me so I could save her from her torture, but then I reminded myself that Jake was in there. And I wasn't about to abandon him, for I loved him too much. And I knew that the Volturi would find me soon enough and kill me when they did, as well as Lisa and my family.

Jane was jealous of how much attention I was getting instead of her. She believed that _her_ gift was much better than _mine_ and that _she_ should be the one sitting on the right of Aro. She didn't understand that I had the ability of both _telling_ someone my thoughts and _hearing_ other's as well. And she didn't understand why Aro found that so ridiculously interesting. I agreed with her on that one. Eight years ago, Aro went to Forks to kill me, now he wanted me to be the 'Volturi Princess'? That didn't make any sense to me.

Alec was annoyed with Jane and how much she complained about me. He wished she would just shut up and follow orders, as opposed to having something to say all the time. She embarrassed him. But he was too afraid of her to say anything.

Caius was thinking how he wanted to get rid of me… as usual. He thought that I was just as bad as the immortal children for falling in love with a werewolf.

Marcus was the harder one to understand. All that was flashing through _his_ mind were images of himself and a woman. I didn't recognize the woman. Didn't know who she was. I've never seen her besides in Marcus's head. She was pretty, to say the least. With a perfect face. Vampire, obviously, no human could be _that _impossibly beautiful… or at least, no human could be that impossibly _pale._

And on and on I went, skipping from mind to mind. Sometimes it was fun to do this, though I usually did it when I was bored. Of course I knew how to block everyone out, but it was just so utterly interesting. Now I knew why my father was always in people's heads.

I froze when the thought of my father came to mind. My father led to my family, and my family led to Forks, a place I would never be able to see again. The people I would never be able to see again.

Forbidden to remember, terrified to forget.

_This stupid mutt is getting on my nerves. Why can't I just kill him already? Aro is such a pushover._ Felix's thoughts brought me back, thankfully.

I dug deeper into his head to find out what he was _seeing_.

He was in the stone antechamber, walking besides an annoyed Demetri. He looked over his shoulder every few seconds to check on what looked like the prisoner that was walking behind them.

I smiled to myself as I realized I could actually _do_ this. I felt like Dad and Alice and Jasper all at the same time. I could _feel_ what Felix was feeling. I could _see_ what he was seeing. And I could _hear_ what he was hearing, as well as thinking.

It was like if I was him. The phrase "walk a mile in someone's shoes" suddenly ran through my mind, and I realized I was doing it in the literal sense.

But my face fell when Felix and I looked over his shoulder again, this time a bit longer than a glance, and I recognized the prisoner.

Jacob.

I hadn't seen Jacob ever since I had joined the coven, which was a while now. But that didn't mean that I ever stopped worrying about him, that I ever stopped loving him. What I would give to sleep in his arms again. To tell him I love him again. To apologize for hurting him so much.

_Stupid bloodsuckers. _I now realized I had unconsciously slipped in Jacob's mind. _Who knew that they could have all this ridiculous security when they were all 'indestructible' and 'invincible'? _Then his thoughts shifted, and the image that filled his mind---as well as mine---was of me. His last memory of me.

I finally got to experience what Jacob actually felt when he looked at me. And I never knew he _loved_ me so much.

I've always had my doubts about him. But not necessarily _about_ loving Jacob, but doubts on why he would love me. Even though he imprinted on me, I was always afraid that another girl would just walk into Jacob's life and he would fall in love with her. Especially when I found out that he _could_ fall in love without an imprint, seeing as he loved my mother before me. But he always assured me that he loved me more than anything.

But this experience was like nothing.

The emotions he felt and what went through his mind when he saw me was just… amazing. The relief he felt when he saw that I was alright, the happiness he felt when I ran into his arms again, the intense and passionate love he felt when he promised me he wouldn't leave me. The total sincerity when he told me he loved me…

He skipped the part with the agonizing pain to when I had agreed to join the coven, and then I felt the misery as he begged me not to agree, willing to give up his life instead of having me suffer eternally. I felt his confusion as he realized I was willing to give up _my_ life for _him._ And I felt his fury as he planned out how he would quickly and painfully rip all the vamps in the room apart and then run away with me.

And I felt his heart break as he looked back up at me and saw the tears leaving my eyes.

"Walk faster, mongrel. Aro doesn't have all day." Demetri's growl brought both Jacob and I back to reality, and Jacob sighed as they pulled him along.

"Where are we going anyway?" Jacob asked them, and I marveled that I got to hear his husky voice again, even if it was just through his thoughts.

"Aro needs to speak to you." Felix answered him.

Jacob's thoughts centered around me again, much to my happiness.

_Hopefully Nessie's there… did they kill her? Oh God please no. I have to see her again, I can't live without her. Screw the imprint, I need Renesmee. _I smiled to myself again when he thought these words.

"They're coming in." Lisa told us, but her eyes were directly on me.

Just then, Demetri and Felix threw the doors open and moved aside. And in came Jacob, his hands----which were clenched into hard fists---- were tied up. Now, I know that since he's a werewolf you would think that he could just rip the rope off with his bare hands and run off, but that wasn't rope tied tightly----and I'm sure painfully---- around his wrist… they were steel cables.

I gasped when I saw him. Stubble grew on his face and his dark hair was messy and down to his chin now. There were purple bags under his beautiful eyes and they had an intensity that I couldn't quite understand.

He was beautiful, and I didn't know that seeing him would be so emotional for me.

I gripped the arms of the chair I was in and clenched my teeth to stop from running to him. I wanted so badly to just rip those stupid cables off of him and tell him to run. To at least kiss him one last time.

But instead, I put on my best poker face and searched his mind.

_Oh, thank God._ I, along with everyone else in the room, heard him sigh, but I was the only one that knew it was in relief. _She's alive. _

We finally locked gazes and then I was just lost.

It's amazing how someone's eyes could make you forget everything at once. Because at the moment that I looked at him, everything disappeared, everyone in the room was just gone. And it was just me and Jacob. My fingers slowly unraveled themselves from the chair and, without thinking, I stood up, much to everybody's surprise.

I was much to busy to notice when Demetri and Felix made a move to stop me as I neared my wolf, and I was too busy to notice Aro hold his hand up and say, "Let them be."

My steps became quicker as I got closer and closer to Jacob, and my hand reached out on it's own.

I saw Jacob's finger's twitch, knowing that he wanted to reach out to me too, and I saw his frustrated frown when he remembered he couldn't.

I tried to smile at him reassuringly, and was glad when I succeeded, it had been a while since I ever smiled at someone with actual feeling.

I never knew the room was so darn long, and that it would take so much time to reach him, but when I did, I just faced him for a minute, staring at him, craning my neck to look at his beautiful face full on.

_God, I missed you._ He thought. _What I would give just to touch you…_

I couldn't help it then, my hand reached up and I cupped his cheek, stroking the rough stubble on his cheek, trying not to make it obvious that I was using my gift.

_Jacob. _I pushed my thoughts into him. _Oh My God, Jake. I missed you so much. _

He leaned into my palm closing his eyes, and kissed it, and it felt so good, I hated that this was the only thing we got.

_Jake, I can hear you. I can read minds. _I told him.

His eyes flashed open and he stared at me intently. _You can hear me? What?_

I smiled, and a quiet tear fell down my cheek. _Just like Daddy. We're talking Jacob. _

His eyes slowly closed again and I traveled my hand down his cheek to his neck.

_Renesmee, I missed you so much. You have no idea how miserable I've been. _He went on. I moved closer to him and reached down to grab his tied up hands. Demetri moved forward but I stopped him.

"Don't worry. Just checking." I assured him. I turned back to look up at Jake.

_This is gonna hurt a bit. _I told him with my gift before tightening the cable around his wrists. He grunted and I looked up apologetically at him. _Sorry._

_I don't care. Better you than them. _He assured me.

I sighed and intertwined his tied up fingers with mine. _I'm so sorry I put you through all this Jake. I wish they would just let you go and you could go back to La Push and---_

_Hey. _He cut my silent apology off. _I'd rather be here, tied up with a steel cables and locked up in a cell, but looking and speaking with you, rather than being all alone in La Push, worrying if you were okay or not. So don't apologize. I love you. And I'm gonna get you out of here. _

Another tears fell down my cheek and I brought his tied up hands up to my face, where he wiped it away. _There's no need to cry, baby. Your fine. And I'm fine. And that's all that matters, okay? We're gonna get out of this and your gonna see your family again. I promise you. Okay. Listen. _He tilted my chin up to look at him when I looked down. _I know you can be braver than this Renesmee. Come on, your you. Don't worry about anything. I love you. _

_I love you too. More than anything. _

And just as I finished thinking that, Lisa grabbed my arm and pulled me back. _I'm so sorry, but Aro's getting impatient. _

I looked at her, than back at Jake, and backed away, taking my original seat next to Aro, who was--- by this point--- standing, and facing Jacob.

"Hello Jacob." he greeted in a welcoming voice.

"Um… hi?" Jacob responded, his voice the complete opposite of Aro's. Husky and rough, as opposed to Aro's soft sighing.

Aro laughed freely, calm. "Oh, Jacob. You seem so confused. Why is that so?"

Jacob raised his eyebrows and cleared his throat. "Well, you held my girlfriend captive and forced her to join you, threatening to kill _me_. Then, you hold _me_ captive, locking me in iron cells and tying me up with steel cables," he held up his tied arms. "and then when I'm forced to come _visit _you, you say hi like we're best friends who haven't seen each other in forever or something." he shrugged. "That's kinda… I don't know, bipolar to me."

I couldn't control the one small giggle that escaped my lips, and everyone turned to me with appalled expressions. Aro grinned. He turned back to Jacob.

"Well, Jacob, seems to me that you have made the only member here that barely smiles, _giggle_, by just speaking your mind." he chuckled to himself. "Well done my boy."

Jacob's eyes flickered to me and he winked. I kid you not. Even in a room full of blood-thirsty vampires, and him tied up, Jacob Black couldn't help his cocky, break-all-the-rules attitude.

Aro looked back at me. _I see the connection between you two, and may I say it is quite interesting. _he directed his thoughts toward me and Jacob.

I placed my hand on Aro's shoulder, trying my best to ignore when Jacob tensed up. _Just to inform you, dear Aro,_ even though I might hate him, my father taught me to respect. _Jacob and my relationship blossomed from the day I was born. And it has progressed with everyday we spent together, up to this point. _

Aro's red eyes were wide when he looked at me. "That _is_ interesting."

I looked at Jacob, and saw his curiosity of the conversation I was having with Aro. But before I could speak, Aro was walking forward to Jacob, pulling me along, his hand on my waist.

"But, though I have read and heard and felt all that intensity through _you_ Renesmee, I wonder what _Jacob_ may have felt when all this happened." he looked at Jacob now and held his hand out. "May I?"

Jacob's eyes widened and he looked at me. _What?_

I just nodded in encouragement. Wanting to tell him to just do it. Jake looked back at Aro and shrugged. "Sure, why not?"

Aro laughed and took Jacob's hands by the cable while we just watched quietly. I waited for Jacob and Aro's thoughts to fill my head, but was surprised when nothing happened.

Suddenly, Aro bared his teeth and bent down. I gasped but sighed in relief when Aro's teeth just snipped through the steel cable like if it was some tissue paper wrapped around Jacob's wrists.

A hand flew to my fluttering heart as I took deep breaths. Aro glanced at me and laughed. "Scared you, now did I?"

I laughed breathlessly and nodded.

Jacob sighed and rubbed his wrists, the burns healing up before our very eyes. _Jeez, you vamps really know how to tighten em up._ He thought.

I rolled my eyes, amazed at how both Jacob and I could be so casual in the presence of all these vampires.

Aro held his hand up to Jacob, palm forward, and cleared his throat.

Jacob hesitantly rose his big, russet hand, and pressed it to Aro's, and you could almost hear the sizzle of when their skin came into contact.

And just then, with the help of Aro's power mixed along with mine, all of Jacob's thoughts flooded my mind.

It was amazing, Aro's power. Those few seconds---thought they seemed like hours--- as every single thought went through you slowly, as if giving you time to process what every thought meant.

I got to see Jacob's childhood. From the moment he could walk and talk to when he made mud pies with my mother. I saw what he went through when his mother died, when his father was immobilized, when Rebecca got married and moved away, when Rachel went off to college, when he met Quil and Embry, what he thought about Sam the first time he saw him, when he re-met my mother and crushed on her, every single game he saw with Billy and Charlie and Harry Clearwater, when he met Seth and Leah, when mom showed up at his house, when he fell in love with her, when he turned into a werewolf, when he witnessed Sam's imprint on Emily, when his hatred for vampires grew when my father came back, when he fought for my mother emotionally and physically, when he kissed my mother for the first time, when he kissed her for the second time, when he fought and broke every bone in his body, when Carlisle healed him, when my mom visited him while he healed, when he ran away, when he reappeared at my parents' wedding, when he ran away again after it, when he came back and worried about my mom on her honeymoon, when he found out my mom was pregnant, when he tried to convince my mom to get rid of me, his hatred towards the thing that was killing her, his depression when he couldn't save her when she gave birth, his hatred towards me when I killed her…

But _my_ mind stopped on one memory and one memory only, and I couldn't erase it from my mind.

When he imprinted me.

It was… inexplicable how it felt to actually _know_ and _experience_ what it was like to actually imprint, even if it was just through Jacob's mind.

I saw him dragging himself down the staircase of the Cullen mansion, his depression making him almost immobile, I heard what he had planned… to kill me and then kill off every fighting vampire that would be willing to actually fight him.

I saw him stop at the bottom of the stairs, towards where Rosalie had me in her arms, cooing and feeding me.

I heard him wondering to me if I could be put back together if he ripped me apart.

_I wondered if the creature could be put back together. I doubted it. It was part Bella, too--- so it must have inherited some of her vulnerability. I could hear that in the tiny, thrumming of its heart. _

_It's heart was beating. Hers wasn't. _

_Only a second had passed as I made these easy decisions. _

_The trembling was getting tighter and faster. I coiled myself, preparing to spring at the blond vampire and rip the murderous thing from her arms with my teeth. _

_Rosalie cooed at the creature again, setting the empty metal bottle-thing aside and lifting the creature into the air to nuzzle her face against its cheek. _

_Perfect. The new position was perfect for my strike. I leaned forward and felt the heat begin to change me while the pull toward the killer grew---it was stronger than I'd ever felt it before, so strong it reminded me of an Alpha's command, like it would crush me if I didn't obey. _

_This time I _wanted_ to obey. _

_The murderer stared past Rosalie's shoulder at me, its gaze more focused than any newborn creature's gaze should be. _

_Warm brown eyes, the color of milk chocolate--- the same exact color that Bella's had been. _

_My shaking jerked to a stop; heat flooded through me, stronger than before, but it was a new kind of heat--- not a burning._

_It was a glowing._

_Everything inside me became undone as I stared at the tiny porcelain face of the half-vampire, half-human baby. All the lines that held me to my life were sliced apart in swift cuts, like clipping the strings to a bunch of balloons. Everything that made me who I was--- my love for the dead girl upstairs, my love for my father, my loyalty to my new pack, the love for my other brothers, my hatred for my enemies, my home, my name, my _self_--- disconnected from me in that second--- _snip, snip, snip_--- and floated up into space. _

_I was not left drifting. A new string held me where I was. _

_Not one string, but a million. Not strings, but steel cables. A million steel cables all tying me to one thing-- to the very center of the universe._

_I could see that now--- how the universe swirled around this one point. I'd never seen the symmetry of the universe before, but now it was plain. _

_The gravity of the earth no longer tied me to the place where I stood. _

_It was the baby girl in the blond vampire's arms that held me here now._

_Renesmee._

That one thought was all it took. The last sentences repeating themselves over and over and over again in my head. And I never thought I could fall even _more_ in love with Jacob Black.

I couldn't take it anymore. I just fell to my knees, my eyes wide, but not with surprise or unbelief, but instead with intense love, the intense love that I was feeling for Jacob right now. For at that moment, Jacob didn't just imprint on me for a second time.

I imprinted him.

"Renesmee!" Jacob exclaimed, dropping to his knees in front of me, not caring the snarls and hisses coming from the vampires in the room. Aro just stared quietly at us in awe.

"Peace."

"Ness, what happened?" Jacob whispered to me, grabbing my hand in his, trying to ignore the fact that the vamps surrounding us could totally hear us.

I looked up at him, and suddenly the glow that was radiating off of him was brighter than ever. I couldn't speak.

So instead, I threw my arms around him and collided my lips with his so hard, our teeth clashed, but thankfully it didn't hurt. He moved his lips under mine with just as much urgency as I was, and I never wanted to let him go. He had his big hands on either side of my waist, pulling my closer to him, I helped him, pushing myself into him, wanting to be as close as humanly---or inhumanly in this case--- possible. The fact that we had a rather large crowd watching us dissapeared, and it was just him and me. A groan escaped my mouth as I realized how much I really _did_ miss him, and I never wanted to seperate myself from him again. I moved my hands to either side of his face and projected how much I missed him and how much I loved him... even more now that i read that one particular part when he imprinted me.

_I love you... so much. You don't even know, Ness. I love you so much. And I'll never leave you, not even if they kill me, I'll always be with you._

And I belived him.

No matter what we were going through---and I have to admit that this was a dangerous place to be right now---we were never going to be apart. Not ever. Because Jacob followed me no matter what, being as I was his imprint, and I knew that I NEEDED him in my life.

Because I loved him.

* * *


End file.
